"People are going to be much happier in the end if they can have support through the divorce process."
Connect Family Law's Divorce Salons are a powerful part of the firm’s Progressive Family Law approach. These casual, confidential gatherings bring a community together to share stories and insights on the divorce transformation.
Jack R. Cartmel, CPA, CA and President of Numis Strategic Consulting, is part of the Connect community as both a professional support for our clients and a “D-Side” member. As a follow up to our recent blog post Divorcing DINKs (Double Income, No Kids), we asked Jack to share his perspective on being a “DINK”. Here’s what he had to say:
So what’s it like to be called a DINK?
Well, I’m not one anymore, but I was back when I got divorced (which was about 6 years ago).
When I was married, we had two incomes, no children. I was just 30 years old when we divorced. Now I have just one income and a child, so my world is very different than it was.
I guess my marriage was what some people call a “trial” or “practice” marriage – I’ve heard those terms used before. It was great for a while, but then we had some difficult times… When that happens, some people can realign and some divide. We parted, but it was for the best.
Do you think not having kids made getting a divorce easier?
Yes. In our case it was fast. I actually did it on my own. Within three months, we had a separation agreement. But I was driven. That’s not for everyone.
I knew the longer we dragged it out the less amicable is was going to be. That made me motivated.
With kids, I can’t see it going that way. Sometimes, those splitting-up conversations don’t even happen because of the kids.
It wasn’t easy though. For a while I had no one to turn to. I was the first of all my friends to get divorced. I remember feeling like I was damaged goods, even though I was young. I ended up connecting with some older guys who had been through it and that really helped. They could relate. They’re good friends to this day.
And how about starting over? How was that?
When things were settled, I think I actually had one of the best years of my life after my divorce!
Looking back, I really loved my freedom. I loved to travel. I just went for it. I travelled to South Africa for the World Cup. And the Olympics were here in Vancouver.
It was just great. I had a clean slate and it felt good to start fresh.
What do you think of Connect Family Law's Divorce Salons?
They’re leading edge. They’re a good reflection of an innovative thought process: law done differently. I wish they’d existed during my rough times.
Helping people to not "hole up inside" when they’re going through divorce is always a good thing. These Divorce Salons do that. It’s a positive, proactive approach if there can be one. What other law firms take that on?
People are going to be much happier in the end if they can have support through the process. And I mean that for both parties!
Family and friends really count, and help from others who have gone through it before can make all the difference.
Any advice to all the other DINKs out there?
Well… Hey. Look – it’s a new day. Don’t get too down. It sounds cliché, but it really does get better from here.
To connect with Jack and his business, visit www.numis.consulting.